


5 Ways Tony and Tony Could Have Met - And 1 Way They Didn't

by RiaZendira



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, NCIS, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: 5+1 Things, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-01
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-04 00:12:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/704252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiaZendira/pseuds/RiaZendira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1. Spring Break - Not their actual Spring Break, just one they were both at... they might both have perhaps been a bit old for spring break technically speaking, but who cares?</p><p>(Classified as gen due to ambiguous implications of any combination of sexual outcomes of the evening you personally prefer to imagine, including none.)</p><p>2. Secret Agent Man - The one where Tony is really Agent Coulson, no wait, he’s the Black Widow, no wait, he’s Anthony DiNozzo, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. and he may or may not be the best Tony Stark wrangler ever, but he always gets the best lines.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spring Break

**Author's Note:**

> Written for A. Beta by PH. Thanks to both. Just a bit of silliness. More chapters to come eventually. 
> 
> Chapter 2 beta by li_izumi.

1\. Spring Break - Not theirs’, just one they were both at... they might both have perhaps been a bit old for spring break technically speaking, but who cares?

Tony DiNozzo tossed back the tequila shot and slammed the shot glass down on the counter, perhaps a bit more forcefully than he’d intended. Smiling at the two ladies to either side of him, he popped the lime in his mouth and bit down. The blonde to his left giggled and the redhead to his right rolled her eyes. He waggled his eyebrows at her in response. She turned her head away, flipping her hair over her shoulder at him. Tony tilted his head towards the blonde.

“Tough crowd,” he ventured. The blonde’s smile grew larger. Tony returned her smile with a smirk. Finally, he was getting somewhere - wait, she was smiling over his shoulder at someone behind him. Tony spun his bar stool and glared at the competition. Mr. Competition looked shorter than him, and sported an odd creepy goatee - how was this competition? 

The man gracefully shouldered between Tony and the blonde and snapped his fingers at the bartender. The bartender jumped like he’d been electrocuted and rushed over. 

“What can I get you, sir?” he asked Mr. Competition. Mr. Competition made a hand gesture that took in the blonde to Tony’s left and the redhead who was now to Mr. Competition’s right. 

“Refills on whatever these three are having, and scotch for me.” The bartender hopped into action. Tony blinked. Mr. Competition was buying him a drink? Okay, maybe a nice guy then. Tony turned towards him, fully intending to make nice.

“Well, hello ladies, gentleman. This is nice.” Mr. Competition’s piercing eyes flickered a quick head to toe dance over each of them in turn. “A blonde, a brunet, and a redhead all lined up for my one-stop shopping convenience. I’ve always been a fan of variety.” Huh. Well, Tony could definitely make nice with that. 

*******

Tony may not remember all the details of that night (there did end up being a lot of liquor involved when all was said and done), but he does get a lot of cocktail party mileage out of telling people that yes, he has met Anthony “Tony” Stark, and yes, they get along famously. In fact, he’s pretty sure they’re still famous at the particular hotel where they met... and not just for the strip poker game that was caught on security camera. 

The impromptu 3 AM slip-and-slide they constructed out of nothing but what they found in the broom closet, however, that... he doesn’t talk about to anyone that wasn’t there. After all, the first rule of 3AM slip-and-slide club is, you don’t talk about 3AM slip-and-slide club. He’s still got the pictures though.


	2. Secret Agent Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2\. Secret Agent Man - The one where Tony is really Agent Coulson, no wait, he’s the Black Widow, no wait, he’s Anthony DiNozzo, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. and he may or may not be the best Tony Stark wrangler ever, but he always gets the best lines.

“Oh let me do it, Nick! I’m never going to get a chance like this again!” Anthony DiNozzo, S.H.I.E.L.D. agent: clearance level 8, currently undercover as Tony Dinardo, “executive assistant”, whined at his boss. 

Nick Fury, all around stone-cold badass and Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., was unimpressed. He stared back at his infamously charming, highly annoying asset and raised a single eyebrow in expression of his displeasure. 

Tony didn’t back down, rather his smile got even broader as he aimed his wide puppy dog eyes at the intimidating man in the black leather trench coat. “Come on, please? I’ll stab him in the neck with the needle like you wanted me to if you let me say it. I know how you like your dramatic entrances, but how about you sweep in from over there just as I finish injecting him with the temporary antidote? That could work just as well.” 

Nick sighed. DiNozzo had already done him a favor by coming back from his downtime early to take this assignment when the Black Widow was required for a more urgent mission elsewhere. If he let his agent have some fun, then the favor would be nullified. Nick was a man who appreciated people owing him favors, not the other way around. And DiNozzo was relatively easy to please as these things went. 

“Fine, you can do it. I’ll join you in the diner.” Fury stomped off to await his perfect entrance, his agent smiling gleefully at his retreating back. 

“Yes!” Agent DiNozzo expressed his triumph with a small fist pump. Composing his face to project a neutral demeanor, he walked around the building up to a larger-than-life 3D donut shaped sign. He looked upwards to where his current assignment, Tony “I am Ironman” Stark, was moping, wearing his metal suit, eating donuts by the boxful while lounging in the center of the sign. 

“Sir,” he shouted, “I’m going to have to ask you to exit the donut!” 

Some days, his job really was the best ever.


End file.
